Mister finally bought a Prius after thinking about it for about five years. Now he needs a new license plate. Here in Texas we have about a jillion different plate designs and I had fun looking for one. I also found out that the name Hildie is available! I should totally get a personalized plate, shouldn’t I? They’re $150 per year so I doubt I will, but I had fun trying out some designs. This one is my favorite. I do love a good cheeseburger.
Mister is a big Dr. Pepper fan. Me, notsomuch but this would certainly be a unique plate. In case you’re thinking that it’s a totally random license plate design, Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco, TX.
Of course, Texans love Jesus too. You’d better be a nice driver if you commit to this license plate. If you feel like your Jesus fish on the back of your car isn’t hardcore enough, consider this one.(Or you could just let your kind Christian behavior speak for itself.)
Say you’re really into NASCAR. Texas has not one, not two, but four NASCAR designs. Why does that not surprise me.
And let’s not forget the hunters. If you are super into killing wild Turkeys, now you can inform everyone behind you at the stoplight. You wouldn’t want people to think you kill deer or boar or something. Make sure you let everyone know that shooting turkeys is where it’s at. And you don’t kill those tame turkeys either; only crazy wild ones. Hey, there’s is an actual federation dedicated to them! I’ll bet those are some rootin-tootin conventions.
This one just plain confused me. BYU is in Utah. But I can have a Texas plate with a Utah school on it? That’s like ordering a Steak Gordita at McDonalds. Weird.
If you have a tribal tattoo you’d probably like this plate as well. That way people know you’re a badass even though you’re driving a Corolla.
This design is my favorite but I have to say I was a little disconcerted with the way they split up my name:
Suddenly Texas is telling me they want me dead? Although I have to say I love the tagline, “Texas 4 Ever”. Did you guys watch Friday Night Lights? Did you see the show’s finale when Tim is looking over his property and says, “Texas Forever”, just like in the very first episode? Man, I was doing the ugly cry. Texas forever, indeed.
Our Spring Break is officially underway! York is at track practice and India’s taking the SAT but soon all the kids will be FREE! For the first time ever we will actually be going somewhere over Spring Break. Just to Grandma and Grandpa’s vacation house in Arizona, so it’s not terribly fancy. The grandparents won’t be there so it’s just us. Well, Mister can’t get away from work so by “us” I mean “the kids and I”. And India’s friend, Summer. She only has one sibling so her head might just explode after spending the week amidst our noisy chaos. (Mister’s brother and his wife will be showing up at some point too, with a bunch of their friends.)
Oh yeah, I should also mention that we will be driving. We never drive anywhere. We do little day trips all the time but as for driving more than three hours in a row? Hasn’t happened since we moved to Texas, lo these many years ago. I’m a little nervous but I think we have enough ipads and electronic gadgets to make sure that there is as little interpersonal involvement as possible.
The temperatures look great next week so my days will consist of sleeping in, lying by the pool (in the shade! Don’t want to lose that vampirish pallor), taking naps and watching lots of TV (There is cable! Such a luxury for us!). I might cook some food. Or we might just eat quite a lot of cereal.
Right now I’m hollering at the kids to keep cleaning out the car. One is Windexing the inside of the windows, one is vaccuming, and one is on petrified-chicken-nugget patrol. I suppose I should think about packing. What am I talking about? I’ve got two new pairs of yoga pants and my bathing suit. I’m totally set!
Snacks for the drive are already parceled out. Yes, I do this myself rather than buying prepackaged snack-sized stuff; What do you think I am, made of money? Pretty much everything is totally sugar-y. I’m quite a mastermind and have decided to pump the kids full of sugar while keeping them confined to an incredibly small space in close proximity to the people they fight with the most in the entire world. Brilliant plan, no? Wish us all well!
Mister owns a truck. It’s not the hugest truck but it’s big. Big trucks are fine for the country or even the suburbs but notsogreat in downtown areas. He’s cursed it when he’s worked downtown because it’s rather like being an elephant in a movie theatre. It’s simply too big. Parking is a nightmare and driving on skinny one-way streets is almost as bad.
Mister found out that his company will be relocating from just-outside-downtown Austin (where parking and traffic are reasonable) to downtown Austin in the next couple of months. The time has come, we have decided, to move away from a truck and onto something more manageable.
While he doesn’t want something small (he carries equipment pretty often due to his job as a video producer), he does want something with good gas mileage. And it has to be reliable.
Mister has been wanting a Prius since they first came out and has taken me to test drive them probably a dozen times (all I really care about are cupholders and how easy it is to listen to my songs). But last week we went to test drive a Prius–again–and I told him I wanted to drive it. While Mister and the lady selling the car were talking, I took the key and tried to start the car; “tried” to start the car. These newfangled cars! They’ve changed a lot! (Obviously we haven’t bought a new car in ages).
Now you don’t even need a key for the ignition. You just press a button. That seems utterly crazy to me but I guess that’s how it’s done these days. I tried and tried to start the stupid Prius. I could not get it to drive. I could start it but not get it to go into “D”. After then tenth time of turning it off and then on again, I got out of the car in a huff. As usual, it turns out I am just dense when it comes to all things technical. Nobody mentioned you have to press the brake before you even start the car! Picky, picky!
Here’s a weird thing about driving a hybrid car: every time you come to a stoplight or slow down to make a turn, the car engine turns off and the battery turns on. Meaning the car goes from sounding like a normal car to sounding like nothing. In other words, I kept thinking that the car had just died. I grew up driving absolute crap cars that regularly died at intersections. I suppose I have some sort of residual Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder regarding this. After the fourth time the Prius went quiet at an intersection I gave up. I was sweating and panicky and I made Mister drive the rest of the time. I like my cars quiet all the time or noisy all the time. None of this half and half business.
The lady showing us the car mentioned that Prius drivers are 35% more likely to get tickets and break the speed limits than other drivers. She wasn’t sure why. I think it’s because there are too many air bags and seat belts. I think if there were a giant dagger in the middle of everyone’s steering wheels that we’d all be much more cautious drivers. Instead we have these airbags and sensors that make us feel all cuddly and safe inside our cars. We need something to make us feel edgy and unsafe all the time. That’s how to improve people’s driving.
Perhaps I’ll jot a note:
Dear Toyota,
Please make your cars noisier, more unsafe and more understandable for technologically idiotic people.
Awww, look at India with her new car. “New” car, I should say. It’s a Toyota Corolla that is ten years old but does not have a dent or ding anywhere.
She has had it for not quite two weeks.
Let me digress right here to tell you about my greatest weakness in life: the inability to look before I back up a car (Second weakness: hatred of laundry). I even have a camera on the back of my minivan that (supposedly) shows me what is behind me. But when I start my car I have to wait a whole twenty seconds for it to start working. Twenty seconds! Pssht, who has that kind of time??? And I then I actually have to look at it. So unreasonable!
I try to make myself not back up until the camera turns on but yesterday I had a Relief Society “emergency” (one of our very sick sisters needed a Coke. Now that’s the kind of service I can get behind!) So I hopped in my minivan without realizing that Mister had parked India’s car behind me in the driveway (in my defense, I did look out the back window but the car was too short to see). So really it was only 90% my fault.
And now India’s bumper looks like this:
India cried. Mister is still fuming. I, of course, feel awful. I hear all these dreadful stories about people backing up over children. It is only by the grace of God that has never happened. I will let this be a warning to me. You have my solemn promise that I will always look before backing up AND wait for my camera to turn on.
Not that any of this matters to my car. Betsy wears her battle scars proudly. I have never bothered getting any dents fixed because it’s only a matter of time before something else meets with my bumper.
Today is How-To Tuesday. And all my photographs for tutorials are stuck on my hard drive. The hard drive that is having an existential crisis and simply won’t start because even though it’s less than a year old, what’s the point. What is the point of it all? That’s what I imagine my hard drive is saying because why else would it not behave itself? It could also be evil. That’s another possibility.
We have been an Apple computer family since way back in the early 90s. Way before ipods or even those really brightly colored Macs. Mister liked Apple products so much he would go to MacWorld every year and wait excitedly to hear Steve Jobs (We shall not remark on the nerdiness or non-nerdiness of my husband). Eventually he started his own Mac store. And then a second one. (Those were the good old days. We always had new computers.) But he has since sold both stores. And so now I have my Macbook Air which is almost four years old. And it’s kind of a lemon.
I’ll be the first to admit that I am extremely hard on my computers. My computers have always taken a beating. But this MacBook Air has had more than its share of problems (you will recall this post where I personally replaced the speaker wiring a few months ago. Yet another repair!) But I got it the first year it came out and that’s always an issue with any product; it takes a while to get the kinks out.
The first year we were married we got a brand new VW Passat. I was so excited, having never gotten a brand new car in my entire life. Unfortunately it was the first year the Passat was being made and there were issues: the windows would spontaneously roll down on their own, it would stall as we were driving, and their air conditioning was seriously messed up. It was terrible and I swore I would never again get a car in the first year of production. And I never have.
Now I’m having that realization about computers too. And I had to remind Mister about our bad luck when he was making me watch the entire multi-hour announcement about the new Macs and drooling all over the place (Ok, they’re super thin. I get it).
I’ve given my computer several days to get itself together and have an attitude adjustment. (That and Mister has finally taken pity on me trying to write blog posts on my phone.) We shall attempt to fix my laptop again today. Please keep us in your prayers.
I have been neglecting this blog very sorely. Part of it is general summer laziness; the fact that our schedule is rather–how shall I put it–fluid. I do the minimum amount of everything needed. The least amount of cooking, the least amount of cleaning, and the least amount of blogging. It’s nothing personal; just a lack of mojo.
Not helping the situation has been my computer which has been so naughty and disfunctional, but seems to be liking me once again. Sort of.
I’ve been doing some odds and ends around the house. Not cleaning or anything. Just crafty-type things (I haven’t been entirely useless. Just mostly useless). Nothing is as satisfying and therapeutic as making stuff. (Eating is a close second but there is nothing to show for that but an empty Oreos package and fat thighs.)
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Mister has very sensitive skin so I make most of our soap. Our bathroom is black, white and green so I thought making some matching soaps would be in order.
I tried two very different designs. The one on the left is a shea butter & babassu soap that has more of a funky, rustic vibe. For the life of me I can’t remember what I scented it with, but it smells fantastic. Hopefully it will be really moisturizing. I tried a new recipe but it won’t be cured for another month. I’ll let you know.
The soap on the right is glycerine and is very pretty and tailored-looking. I scented it with Vera Wang which is my favorite perfume these days. Mister probably doesn’t want to smell like Vera Wang, but I guess he’ll have to make his own soap.
Did your mom have one of these pincushions? I use one when I sew because it’s so convenient, but this stupid thing is always falling off and the chintzy plastic band is really itchy.
So I made an adorable wrist pincushion out of felt. I got the pattern (free!) from Heather Bailey, although I tweaked it a bit. I buy my felt online from Giant Dwarf on Etsy. Her prices are excellent (don’t use that vile stuff from the craft store. Please). My pincushion is super comfy but most importantly it’s cute!
Also going on recently was the adult Pinewood Derby at church. Most of the couples did a car together but Mister wanted no part of my design. Wonder why?
Tacky? Check. Girly? Double check.
My car is called “Put A Bird On It”. Which is named after the funny skit on Portlandia (I’ll link to it down below). I must say “put a bird on it” at least once a day.
Mister made his car out of a slab of chocolate-chip cookie.
There are no holds barred at the Derby and people (men!) were adding tons of weight to the cars in between races to make them go faster. Since we didn’t think to bring pocketfulls of lead, Mister was left to improvise. Watermelon seemed like a nice, heavy choice.
His car came in dead last, but it got the biggest laugh, which as everyone knows is more important than winning. Put a Bird On It came in second to last. But it was by far the prettiest Pinewood Derby car to ever grace the church gym.
Today is Earth Day. I happen to think Earth Day is pretty ridiculous. I think there is too much pollution and too much waste, but having a DAY where those ideas are forced down our throats? To me it’s like Wal-Mart carrying organic food. All I can say is, “give me a break!” Mostly just because people seem so misguided about saving the Earth. Don’t get me wrong, I actually bring reusable shopping bags to the store, recycle and turn off the faucet while I’m brushing my teeth. But I think a lot of people are just missing the boat when it comes to Saving the Earth.
Here is a really cool example of thinking outside the box to make this world a better place. It’s four minutes long but when you finish watching it I promise you will say, “wow!”. Plus it’s Earth Day, duh. So consider this a big green hug for your planet.
I was amused to read this article about Ford’s development of an ultra-safe inflatable seat belt. When are car companies going to realize that providing more safety is only backfiring? Drivers feel too safe; too cocooned in their cars. People are feeling invincible. Ford has gotten it all wrong. If you want drivers to be safer, try mounting a giant dagger in the middle of the steering wheel. I imagine that people would suddenly be a lot more cautious if they knew the slightest jolt would result in pain and possibly death. They might think twice about cutting someone off or following too closely.
Or how about a rule requiring all teenage drivers to be handcuffed to the steering wheel? (They would automatically release upon turning off the car, of course.) No texting while driving, or messing with ipods. I might be able to drive by the High School without worrying that some ditzy, distracted girl will come barreling out of the parking lot and smash into me.
And what about installing one of those limousine windows that goes up and down in my minivan? I’d be able to concentrate on driving a lot better without having to listen to quarreling children, that’s for sure.
Let me tell you, I’m just a fountain of ideas when it comes to designing cars. My dad was an engineer in Detroit, after all. I simply can’t help it!
Just so you understand where I’m coming from, I was born and raised in Detroit. My father was born and raised in Detroit. He worked for Ford for most of my life. I have many memories of going down to the huge, ancient Triple E building (where the engineers worked) and feeding the ducks in the pond out front.
Now that I have disclosed this, I must say THERE IS NO WAY WE SHOULD BAIL OUT THOSE CAR COMPANIES! Or help them in any monetary way.
I drive a Honda, as does my husband. (I loved my last Chrysler, but, alas, they are biased against big families and their minivan only seats seven. We have eight.) I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that we bought Hondas because they are great cars that don’t need to be repaired often.
Ford, GM and Chrysler don’t make good cars. Sure, they invented cupholders and can make a super-smooth ride. But we want cars that last! And get good mileage! Do you mean to tell me that somehow Japanese people (and occasionally Germans) are the only ones who can figure out how to make a great car?
Face it, big three; you make crappy cars. And now you are reaping what you sow. If you didn’t want to fail you should have tried a little harder. You should have sent spies to Japan. Or hired Japanese people. Or something.
I’m very sorry for the Michiganders who are going to live in an even rustier Rust Belt than they already do (I still know and love several of them.)
But for the government to bail out people who are failing due to their own stupid mistakes? No way. I have just one word to say: consequences.
I’m all about tough love.
P.S. The title is Michigan’s state motto. Which I remembered off the top of my head from way back in 4th grade. I also remember the State Rock (the petoskey).
Going along with my crafty theme I found this fabulous bumper sticker. Perfecto! I’m thinking of adding it to the collection on the back of my minivan.You can buy one for yourself on etsy ($3.00! What a bargain!) If you live near me, that will make you a big copycat, but it’s funny so I’ll understand.
Welcome!
My name is Hildie. I'm smart, I'm sassy, I'm sarcastic. Sometimes I'm nice, too. I'm a mom of six and wife of one.
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Mormon Glossary
Since I'm Mormon and church stuff comes up frequently, I thought I would provide a little glossary for terms you may not know:
First of all church is three hours long on Sunday. Whew! It's divided into three meetings:
Sacrament Meeting-the main church meeting, like Mass. The speakers are almost always members of the congregation. Anyone over the age of 12 can be asked to speak.
Sunday School-divided up by age (adults all go together) about 45 min long.
Relief Society-women's meeting, about 45 min.(the kids go to Primary, Men go to Priesthood meeting, teenage girls go to Young Womens). I'm the President of this group of women.
Celestial Kingdom-Heaven
Bishop-the leader of the congregation
Visiting teachers-all Mormon women are given a partner and assigned 2-4 women that they visit, call, give baked goods to every month.
Ward-the local congregation. It's all arranged geographically, so where you live determines where (and when) you go to church.
