Christmas

If you’ve got a houseful of bored people or just wish you lived someplace snowy, this is the perfect craft. You can’t very well go skiing on paper snowflakes but they add a nice wintery touch your house long after the Christmas decorations have been put away. They are also very addictive to make. Our family can spend hours cutting these out. This tutorial will help you make very detailed, extra-fancy snowflakes. Little hands might have trouble with the details, but older kids and adults will be fine. They are surprisingly easy and cheap to do. If you think you could never make these, I promise you’re wrong. They look much harder to make than they are.  Give them a try!

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The materials you need to make paper snowflakes couldn’t be simpler: paper, scissors and a pencil. You can definitely use any kind of paper but run-of-the-mill printer-type paper is kind of thick and makes it nearly impossible to get super fine details. The first year I made snowflakes I only used regular paper and I was thrilled with the results. But the next year I wanted make them even better; I wanted to make mine more detailed and elaborate. If you want to make the prettiest, fanciest snowflakes you’ll need very thin paper and nice pointy scissors. I prefer tracing paper. It’s quite thin and translucent and is absolutely lovely if you hang the snowflakes in your windows. When the sun shines through them they have a soft glow that you don’t get if you use regular printer paper which is completely opaque. This brand is my favorite (I bought this pad of 50 sheets at Michaels for $8. Actually, I had a coupon so it was about $5. Cheap!). Tracing paper is a lot easier to cut as well. Your hands will be aching after a while when you cut regular paper. I also recommend some nice sharp-tipped scissors. These were in the scrapbooking department and cost about $8.

 

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Step One: Take a sheet of paper and fold it in half. Make a nice sharp crease. The entire time you’re folding your paper the crease will be closest to you and the loose edges will be further away.

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Step Two: Fold the paper in half but only crease the very bottom. We don’t want it to stay folded; we just want to mark a halfway point. Open the paper back up so it’s a half-sheet again.

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Step Three: Take the lower right side and fold it over, starting at the midpoint where you made your little crease.

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Step Four: Fold the lower left corner over and crease.

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Step Five: Flip the paper over so it’s on it’s back.

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 Step Six: Fold the left side over so it’s completely even with the right side and crease it.

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You can’t tell in this picture, but you’ll have a paper edge right along that dotted line. This is where you’ll make a cut.
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Step Seven: Cut along the slanted edge. The bottom triangular part will be your snowflake. The top bits can be thrown away.
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Step Eight: Now is the time to draw on a pattern with pencil. The idea is to cut away most of the paper. I’ve drawn the pattern on this snowflake. To make it easier to see I’ve lightly colored the areas that will be cut away. Only the white parts will remain. This seems a little daunting and scary but it’s amazing how just about any design looks wonderful. You might think you need patterns or ideas but just experiment; you’ll get to be an expert surprisingly fast.

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Step nine: Use your nice sharp scissors to carefully cut out your design. An unfolded snowflake is not much to look at.

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Step Ten: Unfold your snowflake ever so gently. These things rip like the dickens so be careful!

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Look how lovely! Prepare to feel an absurd amount of satisfaction. Now if only this snowflake didn’t look so . . . foldy.

Step Eleven: Iron your snowflake. What? Iron paper?!? Won’t it burst into flames? Not if your iron is on the lowest setting. If you try to iron your snowflake by itself the iron will get caught on all the little details and rip your snowflake to pieces. So we’re going to take two sheets of printer paper and make a snowflake sandwich. Put one piece of paper on your ironing board, then put the snowflake on top of it. Top it off with another sheet of plain paper. Now iron it gently on low heat. It won’t take more than a minute.

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Ah, that’s better!
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All done! Now go forth and multiply some snowflakes!  Here’s a hint if you’ll be taping them to windows: don’t place the tape on the outer edges of the snowflake; place the tape inside of the details. It will be much less obvious. I recommend transparent tape but plain old Scotch tape is fine.

 

To get an idea of how snowflake designs translate from folded up to unfolded, here are some examples:

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Happy Winter! Enjoy your snowflake-making!

It’s Christmas Eve and I just finished making two Texas Sheet Cakes* to take to dinner at our friends’ house tonight. We will, of course, be eating BBQ. Because we eat BBQ for every special occasion in Texas. I can’t even recall a church dinner that didn’t feature brisket. Not that I’m complaining. It beats the boiled ham and canned corn and store-bought rolls that we ate at all the ward dinners we’ve been to in other states. Brisket is a lovely, lovely thing. I’m very looking forward to tonight.

But I digress.

We are not a Big-Meal-on-Christmas-Eve family. In my family we had our fancy meal on Christmas Day. Mister grew up in a Christmas Eve family and it’s always worked out well. We’d have a big Christmas Eve shindig with his relatives and then a big meal with my family the next day.

For many years we had a replay of Thanksgiving at Christmas with turkey and ham and all that stuff. But a few years ago we collectively decided that we aren’t huge fans of turkey and ham. We would much rather eat our family’s favorite meal: wienerschnitzel.

No. Not hot dogs.

Wien (pronounced “veen”) is the proper German way to say Vienna. Wiener means something from Vienna like, say, a sausage.  Wienerschinitzel is a very thin breaded pork or veal cutlet, and was perfected in Vienna. Usually you squeeze a lemon on top. With it we eat spaetzle (pronounced “shpets-leh”), which are a cross between noodles and dumplings. You know in the Sound of Music when they sing about schnitzel with noodles? This is what they’re singing about. I love them enough to sing about them too.

My grandmother was from Vienna and she taught my mother how to make schnitzel. And my mother taught me. So now I get the pleasure of harassing the butcher to cut my pork exactly just so. With a middle name like Hildegard I have no choice but to be a schnitzel maker.

We also will have some sort of really superb salad or side dish and that’s it. We aren’t one of those families that goes crazy with hors d’oeuvres or accompaniments like, oh I don’t know, Mister’s family. We make the few things we love and that’s that.

My family also uses the best china and silver. Mister’s does paper plates and cups. Cute plates and cups, but still not exactly “special meal” ware.

For dessert I’ll do an apple pie and maybe a chocolate pie. I normally have lots of candy in my stocking and I’d really rather eat that. But I am a good wife. And good wives make pie for their husbands who love it. And my apple pie is superb so who am I to deny it to everyone?

What does your family do for the big meal? Are you busy cooking right now or are you taking a break til tomorrow night?  Lurkers, let’s hear from you too!

Merry Christmas everyone! Happy Eating!

*I may have put the cakes out to cool on the back porch and a bird may have walked across one. And I may have covered the tracks up with extra pecans.  Or maybe not. I’ll never admit to anything.

Have you noticed I haven’t gone on one of my holiday-induced rants this season?  Normally by this point I’m up in arms about the endless concerts and recitals, stupid holiday parties, and gifts for various people that I’d rather not give.

I’m angry a lot at Christmas.

So stupid of me.

This year I decided to be zen about a lot of things.

I decided to just enjoy my daughter’s concert without composing a mean letter in my mind to the choir director asking that we not have to hear a solo by every member of the choir.

This is just not a year when outside lights are going to happen. Around here, if we want lights, it’s up to me. And I made peace with not having lights. Plus it was rainy and cold most of December. And there is no way I’m braving bad weather for something as pointless as Christmas lights.

I made teacher gifts a week in advance. I took the time to do a nice peppermint soap and didn’t rush through it as I usually do.

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I said no to every party except the school parties and the ward party. I felt slightly grinchy, but one must do extreme things to survive. So, sorry friends who always have the super lame Caroling party. We didn’t really have plans already (and I hope you don’t read my blog!). Also, sorry Bunco and bookclub girls!

I spent much of the month crafting gifts. While I will probably never knit and crochet several gifts again (it was a lot of work! And there’s no way those little kids will appreciate it), it was definitely a big stress release. All that anxiety just drifts away when I make stuff. And, oh my, I had a lot of stuff to make. The little deer was the cutest. Well, so was the elephant.

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I have been wrapping several presents a day. As much as I love wrapping paper, you’d think that doing presents would be my favorite. Which it is if I don’t have a stack of fifty presents staring at me on Christmas Eve. Nothing like procrastinating until the last minute to make something not enjoyable. You’d think it wouldn’t have taken me 40 years to figure this out. (You like my gift-wrapping center? It’s right in the middle of my bedroom floor. I remain, as always, the pinnacle of organization).

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No neighbor gifts. This may seem like the height of rudeness but neighbor gifts are really not done here. The first year we moved in I did my usual over-the-top production (sugar cookies done all in white and silver and personalized with the names of each family member we’d be taking them to). Boy, was I surprised when nobody gave us anything back.  I learned my lesson fast and it has taken a tremendous burden off of me. Plus, it’s good for dieting.

I have really stripped the Christmas season down to its barest essentials. While this seems positively unAmerican, I get overwhelmed quickly. I don’t know why we all knock ourselves out to make this perfect Christmas experience for our children. Here is the truth: whatever you do for Christmas, your kids will love. The end. It is as simple as that. So my family can all be happy with the bare minimum, or my kids can do way more stuff and be just as happy but I will be miserable and practically homicidal by December 25th. Hmmm, that’s a hard choice.

Yeah, I’m making all my Christmas gifts this year.  No, not for my kids! Like I can make an ipod! We’re talking extended family gifts. I’m over at Segullah today discussing why I would do this.

The stuffed dog head is just the beginning . . . .
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With the holidays coming up I figured we could all use a little tutorial on How-To Tuesday about how to tell your kids that they won’t be getting everything their little hearts desire. Of course you need to know how to do this all year round. If you think you don’t ever need to tell your kids that you can’t afford something then you will end up with some pretty selfish, bratty kids. Please don’t let them anywhere near me. Because if there is one thing I hate it’s kids who are all, “me, me, me”. Which is a surprisingly large number of children these days.

Kids need to be told that you don’t have enough money. Even if you do. Can you imagine the surprise that awaits them when they leave for college without the basic knowledge that you can’t have everything you want? What will their adult lives be like when they’ve grown up not knowing that sometimes you won’t have enough money to buy what you want? Kids don’t learn this unless you teach them.

This is really hard for new parents. I remember when India and York were little and we went to Target for something. They both started asking for toys or some other nonsense. It was the first time they were old enough to actually understand what I was saying. I thought about telling them that were weren’t there to buy toys for them, which was only halfway true. The truth was that we were very financially strapped at the time. So I told them how we didn’t have very much money and if we bought toys we wouldn’t have enough money to buy food too.

I felt like a loser saying that.

The loserest of losers.

The great thing about kids is that they take things at face value. When you tell your three year-old that you don’t have enough money for the doll she wants, she isn’t going to think, “Boy, Dad must have a real dead-end job. Why doesn’t he go back to school and get his MBA or something? I can’t believe he doesn’t have ten lousy dollars. I have no respect for that man anymore.” Instead your child is thinking: “I want that doll. I waaaant that dollllllll! I want that doll now!!!!! What do you mean we have no money? There’s money in your purse! Don’t blab at me, Mom, just buy me the doll! Now!!!! I must have that doll! That doll is my key to happiness!” You get the idea.

But there is no arguing with, “we don’t have enough money.” Begging and pleading are pretty much nipped in the bud.  So not only is it effective, but it gets kids in the habit of thinking about money before asking for things. Which will hopefully lead them to think about money before they buy things as they get older.

If arguing or whining persists, you can always tell kids that they are welcome to write it on a list for Christmas/their birthday– a time when they will be getting presents.  This is how it goes for our Littles if they are being persistently greedy at the store:

Jasper: Mom, can I have this Play-Doh Set?

Mom: I’m sorry, Jasper, I haven’t got enough money for that. I only have enough money to buy the things on my list.

Jasper: But you have lots of money. I saw it in your purse.

Mom: That is all the money I have for food and toilet paper. If we buy your toy we won’t be able to buy dinner. I’m going to be hungry without dinner. And what about if there is no more toilet paper? That would be gross. But maybe you could pick some leaves in the backyard for us to use instead. That’s what Indians used for toilet paper.

Jasper: Ew! [not falling for my impromptu budgeting lesson]  But Mom, I really want that Play-Doh set. Please can you get it? I’ll do a chore when we get home.

Mom: When you do enough chores to earn you own money we’ll come back and buy it then. You have to do the chores first.

Jasper: Please mom!

Mom: How about we put it on your Christmas list? You’ll be getting presents then.

Jasper: [hesitant and not totally buying the whole Christmas List bait and switch] Hmmmm.

Mom: [acting quickly to distract from whining] What else would you like to put on your Christmas list? How about that Buzz Lightyear toy over there?

Jasper: [perking up as only a greedy child does] Yeah!  And the Woody and Jessie toys too! Plus that Darth Vader light saber!

Mom: Let’s start writing that list as soon as we get home. [This part is important!!!] You won’t get everything on your list but this gives Santa some ideas. [You don't want him to think he's getting everything on the list. Which he will certainly think unless told otherwise.]

So, not only did you deflect a whiny, selfish child but you got him to realize that he only gets toys at certain times. Not every time he goes to the store. And that money needs to be spent on necessities first.

I realize that many parents feel like they will make their children deliriously happy by buying them lots of stuff. Listen to me now:

You won’t.

Because stuff won’t make you happy.

Not you. Not your kids.

Do everyone in society a favor and tell your kids no. Tell them that money must be spent wisely. The sooner you do this, the better.

I’m not saying that you can’t ever buy your kids things. Sure you can. But it’s important that kids realize that there are limits, they can’t have everything they want, and that money needs to be spent intelligently.

You aren’t depriving your kids. You are giving them a much more valuable gift than anything you can buy at a store.

Unless its a jewelry store.

(Just kidding.)

 

 

You guys! I’m back! I didn’t want to tell you that I was going on a vacation for Christmas because I know there’s that crazy band of robbers who reads mommy blogs until they find one who says they’ll be gone then locates their house and steals everything (just kidding, Mom-in-law! This does not actually exist.) But now it’s safe to tell you that we went to Portland, Oregon to visit the extended family for Christmas (don’t worry, I’m not going to include any blurry pictures of my pajama-clad children opening presents. I like you too much for that.)

Although it was our most successful family visit to date (not once did I hiss at my husband through clenched teeth, “I cannot handle your sister for one more second!” Nor did we get in a ginormous fight where one of us seriously threatens divorce. Tempers flare around family, I’m sad to say), it was still a pain. I would not recommend taking Christmas on the road with six kids. The massive amount of luggage (clothes plus presents) was frightening (yay for Southwest and two free bags per person!) Not only that but I had to bring stockings because everyone knows those are the best part of Christmas. And you can’t have stockings without stocking holders because I’m not about to lay the stockings on the floor. So those had to come too. And then there were the gifts for the grandparents and cousins on both sides. And the birthday presents for the two cousins with December birthdays (poor, poor souls).

Let’s just say that the possibility for screwing up this Christmas was tremendous. But it was a success! I remembered everything! And Christmas was wonderful! And we got everything in eight suitcases! And I remembered to bring jackets this time (we won’t go into the Christmas of ’08 when we went to Utah sans coats. That was a fun one.)

There was a little kerfluffle when Mister told me for real this year not to buy him anything. He “doesn’t need anything” (actually, that’s true so I shouldn’t put it in quotes). So I bought him a couple of shirts and a CD (I don’t want to tell you which CD because it’s embarrassing. OK, Josh Groban. See? Embarrassing. I’m an enabler. But when I bought Josh Groban concert tickets last year I only bought one because I have my limits. And paying actual money to see Josh Groban is beyond them.) Anyhoo, I’m sure you can guess what happened Christmas morning; I had lots of wonderful presents to open up and he didn’t. And then he was pouty about it. So I had to do what all wives do when they don’t give a good present: they have to give A Good Present. A private, wifely present(s), if you catch my drift. I don’t know why it even counts since it’s not under the tree or anything. But if it gets a husband to quit complaining, it works for me.

We had a lovely flight home today and are enjoying both our our cat who just about had a nervous breakdown while we were gone, and the sinkful of dirty dishes because Mister insisted that we leave for the airport three hours early and couldn’t wait just five extra minutes for me to load the dishwasher (it’s better to just indulge his fancy for being at the airport absurdly early).

We put the kids to bed without dinner tonight (well, I consider peanuts and Sprite to be a perfectly good dinner, but they are totally spoiled and wanted something more. So selfish, right?). We’ll be spending New Year’s Eve opening all the Christmas cards that came after we left (I don’t want to throw them away already but you procrastinators leave me no choice!) and going to bed by 11 pm.

P.S. Someone please explain how sitting still in an airplane chair for several hours can be exhausting. Because I feel like I ran a marathon (OK, more like a 5K, but still.)

P.P.S. It was scientifically proven today that a Honda minivan holds twice as much luggage as a Suburban. So all you Suburban-lovers with your “SUVs are so much cooler than minivans” can suck it!

Happy New Year everyone!

Now is the time when I go into a full-on Christmas panic. Lately I have been living my life like somebody pressed the Fast Forward button, so let me just wish you a Merry Christmas today. Not sure I’ll be with it enough on Saturday to remember.

P.S. If I could give you one piece of parenting advice, it’s to dress your children alike as much as possible. For some idiotic reason people will assume that you are a stellar parent because of this one thing. It really makes no sense but the general public will think that you completely have it together if you can come up with some matching sweaters (bonus points for matching the boys with the girls.)

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Dear School That My Children Attend,

First of all, today is the last day of school before Christmas vacation. Thus it is my last day to run errands child-free. You have scheduled my child’s class party for 9 am. Just because all the other parents take their children home as soon as the party ends, it doesn’t mean that I will as well. I don’t plan on my child leaving school until the properly appointed hour. I’m about to be with my child 24/7 for the next 15 days and I don’t want to start any earlier than is necessary. And despite what that snotty mom in the hallway said to me yesterday, this is not because I have six children so I must really be sick of kids most of the time. It’s because I hate taking my kids to run errands. What mother doesn’t???

Secondly, my kids do not need any more cheap plastic crap. I know how important it is to create every perfect memory for our kids (actually it isn’t, but let’s not split hairs), but bringing goodie bags and asking each child to provide stuff for them is total overkill. We really don’t need an assortment of junk from the Oriental Trading Company. (Which is why, out of spite, I made a bar of soap for every child. Boring, but at least it’s homemade.)

Thirdly, How many parents does it take to watch fifteen kids frost sugar cookies? Give up? 26! You didn’t know that, did you? But parents were needed not just for the cookie decorating but to help decorate the embroidered, personalized aprons for each child (there’s that parental overkill again).

I realize what a magical time this is, but you are killing me, school. You are wearing me out and making me hate this time of year.

–Jennie W.

P.S. I’ll like the kids’ choir songs just as much in January so let’s do the concert then!

Like most earnest and well-educated parents I decided that when I had children we would be “gun-free”. No shooting toys period.* (Except water guns because those aren’t about killing, they’re about laughing. And Nerf guns because, well, I don’t know. They’re just different.)

I’ve always preferred my boys to pretend to kill and maim each via hand-to-hand combat. You should be able to look someone in the eyes while you hurt them. Thus swords and knives were always fully acceptable. Bows and arrows are OK too. (Yes, I am aware that it’s possible to shoot someone with a pistol while staring at them. And it’s possible to kill someone with an arrow from really far away. We thoughtful parents don’t operate in grey areas, OK?)

My husband is a gentle soul who doesn’t care much for roughhousing or video games so York and Finn were raised in a kindly manner and were always fine with the no-gun rule. Violence is just not something they were really exposed to. They didn’t even try to make guns out of Legos or toast. I patted myself on the back for being an exemplary mother.

Everything was smooth sailing until Finn turned eight. Grandpa was in town and took Finn shopping for his birthday. They got back from the toy store with seven guns and a machete.

I may be a pacifist but I am not a meanie. The guns stayed and things have gone downhill ever since.

This year York and Finn will find these airsoft beauties under the Christmas tree (they’ll love you forever, Grandpa!):

The slogan for this Thompson M1A1 is “the gun that changed the world.” Yep, tell that to the Indians.

*For about the first three days of parenthood I actually thought it would be possible for our children to be raised with only wooden toys. The naïveté of new parents is so hilarious. We did manage to stay Barbie-free until about three years ago, though.

I just got our first Christmas card yesterday which put me in a tailspin of Christmas card anxiety. We haven’t gotten our Christmas cards done. Or had the picture taken. Or gotten all the clothes. Or made the clothes that I haven’t been able to find in the store.

I woke up in a horrible panic at 5 am today wondering where the boys Christmas sweaters are. I bought them last Black Friday for $4.00 each, already deciding that our Christmas Outfit scheme a whole year later would be red and white (which amazingly enough we’ve never done before). I realized this morning that I haven’t seen Jasper’s sweater in quite some time.

Like a year.

I’m afraid to go look for it because that will launch a full scale panic attack that will end with me ripping the house apart and flipping out.

And then there is the matter of the older boys’ sweaters. Sweaters that might not even fit due to the fact that both my boys have grown 4 inches in the last year. I do know where York’s sweater is since I’ve been toting it to every store in Austin trying to find matching girls skirts. Guess what? The sweaters are a completely different shade of red than any skirt I found.

Which means I will be making skirts. Yippee!

But I found matching fabric and it was only $20 for enough to make all of us skirts. So that’s a bit of good news.

I won’t be making the skirts unless I find the sweaters first, though. What if I can’t find the sweaters? I have a real knack for losing things and it’s entirely possible that I completely lost at least one sweater. Now that I think about it I haven’t seen that York’s sweater since I was at the fabric store last week. What if I left it at there? Or it fell out in the parking lot? Oh my goodness, I need some smelling salts.

The funny thing is that I will eventually get all the outfits assembled and the pictures taken after listening to my children (and especially husband) bitch about how much they hate having pictures taken (Hey family! We do pictures every year and we will until I am dead, so just shut up!) We will get the cards done and sent out and many clueless friends will open them up and think that we are really on the ball.

If only they knew.

UPDATE on 12/6: I sewed four skirts after I wrote this post (still need to hem mine, though), and found all three sweaters. Jasper’s was wadded up at the bottom of his closet amongst all the cans of powdered milk. (Jasper’s closet is half food storage and half fabric stash.) And I found a sweater vest for Mister that sort of matches too. Not perfectly, so he’ll have to stand behind everyone. I’m sure I’m jinxing myself but I think we’re just about ready for family portraits.