Fess-Up Friday

For Fess-Up Friday I want to tell you about something that is kind of embarrassing and makes me completely not cool:  going someplace new and different always makes me feel anxious and slightly worried. It doesn’t matter what it is: a restaurant, a museum, a flea market. If I don’t know what to expect I kind of wig out. Not on the outside; on the outside I’m perfectly calm and self-assured. On the inside I’m a ball of worries: How do I get there? Where will I park? Do I need to pay? Where is the entrance? Will I know what to do?   I can get pretty worked up.

The internet is absolutely the best thing that could happen to someone like me. Before I go anywhere I can get directions, see pictures, find out prices and hours, read menus and generally avoid all unpleasant surprises. This might sound lame to you but to me it calms me and helps to make sure I have a good time.

Every summer we do Texas Tuesday. I take the kids on an outing or a day trip someplace around our fair state. We started doing this because in every state we’ve lived in we have seen almost none of the local sights. Mostly because the idea of going to new places or having new experiences is super freaky to me. Theoretically I want to go to new places, but it’s intimidating and sometimes I’m not very courageous. I felt sad about missing out on so many wonderful opportunities so I finally decided to be a big girl and change my behavior. I don’t want to set the example for my kids of being a chicken.

Now that I know that every Tuesday during the summer we will be going someplace different, I can plan ahead and do my research. Websites, Blogs and Yelp help me feel confident and prepared. Knowing what to expect helps me relax and enjoy the experience knowing that there won’t be any weird surprises along the way (What do you mean it’s cash only? You have to arrive by 10 am to get a place in line? We’re supposed to wear water shoes?)

When Mister and I had been married for two years we decided to go to Europe for a couple of months. This was back in the early 90’s when there was no internet, no cell phones and no GPS. If you wanted information about a destination or a hotel, your only option was a guidebook. You know how erratic things in Europe can be: hotels close down, museums change their hours, roads are unmarked. Every day featured at least one internal mini panic-attack. Mister would tell me to close my eyes, recline my car seat, and breathe deeply for ten minutes. Although we had loads of fun on the trip and had so many cool experiences, I was worn out by the end. All those new experiences that I couldn’t plan for very well exhausted me emotionally. I feel like the most lame and boring person by admitting that, but it’s the truth. I only like an adventure when I know what to expect. Which makes it not an adventure at all.  I guess that means I like the opposite of adventure.

But the funny thing is that I really like trying different restaurants or visiting a new city. I just have to be prepared and do my research first. If I feel like I know what’s going on, I have all the confidence in the world.

We haven’t had Fess-Up Friday in quite a while. Have y’all missed seeing the shady underbelly of my life? Well, it doesn’t get much shadier than this: my sofa, under the cushion. I was looking for stray kids’ socks (where have they all gone????). You know that the sofa is the Bermuda Triangle of the house, right? I only found one sock but I did find two pencils and 51¢. Which makes all the crap that I found almost worth it! (A golf ball? Really? How did we never feel that? A surgical glove. No idea where that came from. And of course Legos. Always legos. They’re like the weevils of the toy world.)

under sofa cushions

I’m pretty sure I win the award for most unmatched socks in one house.

Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App

Think you can beat me? Prove it!

One of the most popular topics among my girlfriends these days is The List. There is no get-together or discussion that doesn’t eventually wind up on this topic.

You know what The List is, right? It’s your collection of celebrity boyfriends (or girlfriends). What you do with your celebrity boyfriends is up to you. Originally it’s the people you would be allowed to have sex with, there being no consequences. But if you want to keep it chaste and only take long walks on the beach, well, it’s your decision. Your celebrity boyfriend will be happy to do as you’d like. (Fantasies are so delightfully accommodating.)

The best part of having a List is discussing the pros/cons of each person. For example, this guy is on almost almost all my friends lists:

James McEvoy? For reals? He totally doesn’t do it for me. Especially since I always picture him as Mr. Tumnus in The Chronicles of Narnia. No goat hooves for me, thanks.

However, Matt Damon is another story.

You know he went to Harvard before he was famous? I love smart men. And nice men. Sigh.

So no mean guys need apply to my list. Or vampires. Or people who play vampires. I don’t care how sexy they are.

Some other men on my list:

James Marsden:

Taye Diggs  (LOVE the glasses!):

Jude Law. Most English people sound smart even if they’re not, so they get bonus points. Plus Jude is hot on top of being British.

This is, of course, just a start. How about you? Who is on your list? Don’t be shy; it’s Fess-Up Friday so play along!

For Fess-Up Friday I’m showing you my amazing mail-sorting and storage system. You guys are going to want to add this to your Pinterest boards for sure.


Okay, so it’s really just a giant bin that the mail gets tossed into. Or sometimes we just throw the mail near the bin.

You might not be surprised to know that I have gotten the water turned off twice due to forgetting to pay the bill. With this system it’s hard to believe that bills can get overlooked.

This is also a handy place to throw odds and ends such as the Playmobil horse sitting next to the mail bin.

Do you have issues with your mail? Or are you super organized? It’s fess-up Friday so spill the beans!


I just swept under my sofa. This is what I found:


I have to see the silver lining here: a complete pair of shoes?!? I can’t recall two of the same shoes ever ending up under the sofa at the exact same time. These happen to be water shoes that haven’t been used since, um, well, it’s been a while. And they don’t currently fit anybody. But still . . . .

Every year on my birthday I like to pig out. I plan the whole day around all the glorious food I will eat. I have to narrow my restaurants down to two choices (lunch and dinner. Breakfast is, of course, bacon, cookies and candy).

I just love eating delicious food until I’m stuffed. It is magnificent (unlike stuffing yourself with bad food which just makes you feel disgusting and putrid).

My favorite pig out foods are as follows:

Caramel Macadamia Clusters from Kirkland (Costco). Super soft caramel, nuts, a touch of salt and milk chocolate. They come in a huge, ugly plastic container for about $10. And I can eat the whole thing. Not exaggerating.

Peanut Butter M&Ms. The first ingredient in these is Heaven. Literally. They actually contain bits of Heaven. The second ingredient is crack. Or meth. Whichever is more addictive. The first time you eat them you’re like, “hmmm, these are good.” The second time you’re like, “why can’t I stop eating these?” The third time you ponder how many bags it would take to fill up a swimming pool with them and dive into it.

Chips and salsa from Chuy’s (I’m so picky about salsa. This salsa is heavy on lime and cilantro. YUM! Chuy’s is a great Tex-Mex restaurant here in Austin). If I have room I’ll eat a meal from Chuy’s too. But the chips and salsa just thrill me to my toes.

If you’re going to pig out, what’s your food of choice?

Things are getting off to a slow start this morning on account of me still being in bed. You see, it’s a snow day here in Austin. We got a whole inch of snow so naturally school was cancelled. To add insult to injury, we have a three day break starting Monday. That means my kids will not be at school again til next Thursday.

If I wanted them around I would homeschool them. Sheesh.

Today’s Fess-Up Friday edition has to do with theivery. Somehow the Sunday School lessons I heard as I was growing up never really sank in because I stole things all the time as a child. From pretty much everyone. Usually I stole candy from people (my mother can tell you all about the peanut butter cups I snuck from her stash. She’d make me sit at the table and write “I will not steal anymore” 500 times. Guess what! It didn’t work! I kept stealing peanut butter cups!)

When I was 12 I had an insensitive uncle tell me in the middle of a family reunion that it was time I needed to wear a bra. After I slithered out of the room and died under a rock, I begged one of my cousins to let me borrow her extra bra. I hated wearing it. I felt like a cat who’s been dressed in baby clothes. At the end of the day I could barely wait to rip it off, but I knew that if my uncle thought I needed a bra then probably other people did too. However there’s a fine line in the tween years between needing a bra and being teased because you’re wearing one without having anything to put in it. If I brought the subject up to my mother, a very buxom woman, I figured she would cackle at the thought of me needing a bra and ask all of our gathered relatives for their opinion on the subject.

I’m sure it would have turned out differently, but in my pubescent mind I could only see the disasters lurking in a scenario involving my mother and my breasts.

So I decided I would have to buy a bra myself. Only I had no money due to the fact that I spent my allowance every week on donuts, gum and chocolate. My only option appeared to be theft.

As I said, I was a good Mormon girl (“good” only if you graded on a curve including my non-member friends like Elaine Fielder who was already smoking her mother’s cigarettes) but stealing something didn’t really bother me too much.

I headed down to the mall and tried on bras until I found a couple that I liked. And I stole them. Hangers and all.

I wasn’t caught.

Eventually when my conscience kicked in a couple of years later I felt terrible. But not before I’d stolen more bras and some Lee Press-on Nails.

How about you? Have you ever stolen anything? What was the worst thing?

Fess-Up Friday

January 14, 2011 · 24 comments

in Fess-Up Friday

I’m starting a new feature that will run once or twice a month; it’s called Fess-up Friday and the whole point will be to (I’ll bet you’ll never guess!) get something off your chest that maybe is not so great.

Today’s theme is


As in “what is one of the most ecologically irresponsible things you do?”

I’m going to fess up by admitting that we almost always eat breakfast on paper dishes. There are just too many people and too many dishes to do otherwise. The Earth isn’t the only one with finite resources, you know. My supplies of energy and patience are used up very quickly. I can’t squander them on every dirty dish that comes along.

How about you? Especially all of you lurkers! Come on, fess up!